Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3] Eliminate unnecessary…

Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
Eliminate unnecessary words in the following sentences.
5-16. The board cannot act without a consensus of opinion.
5-17. To surpass our competitors, we need new innovations both in products and in company operations.
5-18. George McClannahan has wanted to be head of engineering a long period of time, and now he has finally gotten the promotion.
5-19. Don’t pay more than you have to; you can get our new fragrance for a price of just $20.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
Revise the following sentences, using shorter, simpler words.
5-20. It is imperative that the pay increments be terminated before the company accumulates an inordinate deficit.
5-21. There was unanimity among the executives that Ms. Jackson’s idiosyncrasies were cause for a mandatory meeting with the company’s personnel director.
5-22. The impending liquidation of the company’s assets was cause for jubilation among the company’s competitors.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
Use infinitives as substitutes for the overly long phrases in the following sentences.
5-23. For living, I require money.
5-24. They did not find sufficient evidence for believing in the future.
5-25. Bringing about the destruction of a dream is tragic.
Revising Messages: Conciseness [LO-3]
Condense the following sentences to as few words as possible; revise as needed to maintain clarity and sense.
5-26. We are of the conviction that writing is important.
5-27. In all probability, we’re likely to have a price increase.
5-28. our goal includes making a determination about that in the near future.
5-29. When all is said and done at the conclusion of this experiment, I’d like to summarize the final windup.
Revising Messages: Modifiers [LO-3]
Remove all the unnecessary modifiers from the following sentences.
5-30. Tremendously high pay increases were given to the extraordinarily skilled and extremely conscientious employees.
5-31. The union’s proposals were highly inflationary, extremely demanding, and exceptionally bold.
Revising Messages: Hedging [LO-3]
Rewrite the following sentences so that they no longer contain any hedging.
5-32. It would appear that someone apparently entered illegally.
5-33. It may be possible that sometime in the near future the situation is likely to improve.
5-34. Your report seems to suggest that we might be losing money.
5-35. I believe Nancy apparently has somewhat greater influence over employees in the new-accounts department.
Revising Messages: Indefinite Starters [LO-3]
Rewrite the following sentences to eliminate the indefinite starters (forms of There are or It is).
5-36. There are several examples here to show that Elaine can’t hold a position very long.
5-37. It would be greatly appreciated if every employee would make a generous contribution to Mara Cook’s retirement party.
5-38. It has been learned in Washington today from generally reliable sources that an important announcement will be made shortly by the White House.
5-39. There is a rule that states that we cannot work overtime without permission.
Revising Messages: Parallelism [LO-3]
Revise the following sentences to fix the parallelism problems.
5-40. Mr. Hill is expected to lecture three days a week, to counsel two days a week, and must write for publication in his spare time.
5-41. She knows not only accounting, but she also reads Latin.
5-42. Both applicants had families, college degrees, and were in their thirties, with considerable accounting experience but few social connections.
5-43. This book was exciting, well written, and held my interest.
Revising Messages: Awkward References [LO-3]
Revise the following sentences to delete the awkward references.
5-44. The vice president in charge of sales and the production manager are responsible for funding the demo unit program and the loaner unit program, respectively.
5-45. The demo unit program and the loaner unit program are funded from different budgets, with the former the responsibility of the vice president in charge of sales and the latter the responsibility of the production manager.
5-46. The budgets for the demo unit program and the loaner unit program were increased this year, with the aforementioned budgets being increased 10 percent in both cases.
5-47. A laser printer and an inkjet printer were delivered to John and Megan, respectively.
Revising Messages: Dangling Modifiers [LO-3]
Rewrite the following sentences to clarify the dangling modifiers.
5-48. Running down the railroad tracks in a cloud of smoke, we watched the countryside glide by.
5-49. Lying on the shelf, Ruby saw the seashell.
5-50. In need of a major equipment upgrade, I think the factory would be a bad investment.
5-51. Being cluttered and filthy, Sandy took the whole afternoon to clean up her desk.
Revising Messages: Noun Sequences [LO-3]
Rewrite the following sentences to eliminate the long strings of nouns.
5-52. The focus of the meeting was a discussion of the bank interest rate deregulation issue.
5-53. Following the government task force report recommendations, we are revising our job applicant evaluation procedures.
5-54. The production department quality assurance program components include employee training, supplier cooperation, and computerized detection equipment.
5-55. The supermarket warehouse inventory reduction plan will be implemented next month.
Revising Messages: Sentence Structure [LO-3]
Rearrange each of the following sentences to bring the subjects closer to their verbs.
5-56. Trudy, when she first saw the bull pawing the ground, ran.
5-57. It was Terri who, according to Ted, who is probably the worst gossip in the office (Tom excepted), mailed the wrong order.
5-58. William Oberstreet, in his book Investment Capital Reconsidered, writes of the mistakes that bankers through the decades have made.
5-59. Judy Schimmel, after passing up several sensible investment opportunities, despite the warnings of her friends and family, invested her inheritance in a jojoba plantation.
Revising Messages: Camouflaged Verbs [LO-3]
Rewrite each of the following sentences so that the verbs are no longer camouflaged.
5-60. Adaptation the new rules was performed easily by the employees.
5-61. The assessor will make a determination of the tax due.
5-62. Verification of the identity of the employees must be made daily.
5-63. The board of directors made a recommendation that Mr. Ronson be assigned to a new division.

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