Edits to Political Science Paper

Hello! I submitted a draft of this paper to my teacher and this was her feedback. Could you please make necessary adjustments? After reading through the essay, it seems that the paper is lacking a thesis statement. Could you please take another attempt at adding a strong thesis that will support the paper as well as work to structure the existing content around the thesis. The feedback below is from the teacher.

“Thanks for sending this. Unfortunately, you are still doing a review for this paper. The assignment is a critical commentary. This requires you to take a stand about an important issue in IPE – then you must supply evidence from the readings to help support the argument you are making in the thesis statement. In short, your paper currently lacks a thesis statement and must be reorganized to support that thesis statement.

Have you reviewed the example I demonstrated in class? I have attached the slides again for you to review. Please pay close attention to slide #4-5. You need to emulate the thesis statement and roadmap that I present there.

If you want to take another stab at the introduction and send it to me, I am happy to take a look. After that, you just need to reorganize the rest of the paper to reflect the introduction.”