After reading chapter 6, watch the two clips below from Friends and The Breakup, which give examples of relational dialectics in relationships. Then watch Esther Perel’s Ted Talk where she discusses love and desire and argues that “good sex” is complicated by contradicting and conflicting needs (the dialectic tensions described in your text). After watching the all the clips, write 1-2 pages discussing the role of dialectic tensions in relationships. You can use a specific dialectic or multiple. For example, you may wish to discuss the evolution of a particular dialectic, like Certainty (novelty/predictability), throughout the life cycle of a relationship. Often times at the beginning of a relationship things are new and exciting (novelty), but the lack of predictability may lead to insecurity for certain individuals. On the other hand, long term relationships are often categorized by being predictable with little novelty, causing individuals to become ‘bored’ and dissatisfied with the relationship. Or, you may want to discuss which dialectic you feel is the most important or has lead to the most conflicts in your own relationships (or others that you have witnessed). You can even discuss how to “balance” dialectics in relationships to make them more successful. Feel free to reference examples from your life or others, and use pseudonyms to protect privacy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY9wkrgtGX0 ( Rachel and Ross fight)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn3I6-DBLJM#action=share ( The Breakup)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa0RUmGTCYY (The Secret To Desire In a Long-term Relationship- Esther Perel)
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